Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
