i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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