why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
