Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
