He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
