I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
