Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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