this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
