I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
