yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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