i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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