don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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