I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
