I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
