You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
