JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
