thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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