Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
