talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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