is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
