Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
