just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
