why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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