My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
