Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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