she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Is it penis luge time yet?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Boobs are out for the taking
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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