great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
