my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
