i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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