My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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