They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The power of my boobs compel you
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
