Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
