Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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