Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
