You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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