I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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