Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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