Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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