I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Are my feet made of real feet?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
