He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
