I think I died a long time ago.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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