I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
