Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm bleeding and have questions
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
