big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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