You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
