Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
