fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
