Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I am morally bankrupt
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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