I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
