Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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