So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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